Mandela moment

This week I took a webinar from the Queen’s School of Business entitled “Lessons in Leadership from the Life of Nelson Mandela”. It was presented by South African Professor Dr. Julian Barling. It was very interesting and the session passed quickly. In a nut shell, here are the ten lessons in leadership from the life of Madiba that were discussed:

1.    Role modelling your vision.

2.    Know and respect the opposition.

3.    Influencing your opposition is more important than rallying your supporters.

4.    Reciprocity – the fundamental principle of effective persuasion.

5.    The power of many.

6.    It’s never too late for wonderful leadership.

7.    Is leadership born or made?

8.    Humility builds respect.

9.    Your successor (developing your successor is important)

10. Leadership is about moments, and the smallest possible things you do in those moments.

In everything discussed, there was one thing about Madiba’s leadership that I had not heard before. That was his failure to address the pandemic of AIDS, recognized as Mandela’s biggest failure during his tenure as President of South Africa. The reasons for this were discussed – age, cultural beliefs, etc. It wasn't until his own son died of AIDS in 2005, when the disease affected him personally, that Mandela addressed and took a leadership role in the AIDS pandemic. This of course speaks to number six above - it is never too late for wonderful leadership:

Let us give publicity to HIV/AIDS and not hide it, because the only way to make it appear like a normal illness like tuberculosis, like cancer, is always to come out and say somebody has died because of HIV/AIDS, and people will stop regarding it as something extraordinary. (Nelson Mandela)

I continue to be intrigued by every facet of this man’s life. In the webinar, Professor Barling talked about “Mandela moments”. These moments when everyday people like myself met him, and he made them feel special. He made them feel like he was excited to meet them. He made a “moment” in that person’s life they will never forget.

Sometimes I still have to pinch myself when I think about my Mandela moment. In the summer of 2006, I was chosen to participate in an Internship at his Foundation in Johannesburg, South Africa. On a Friday morning, three weeks upon my arrival in Jo’Berg, I was led into his office and was given the opportunity to meet this great leader and shake his head. Yeah, this farm kid from rural PEI had a Mandela moment. I still wonder how my life brought me to that moment. However I got there, I am grateful.

When I got home from work the day he died last December, I can’t say I was surprised to hear the news. His health had been in decline for quite some time. When anyone lives to be 95, it should be celebrated, yet I couldn’t help be a little sad. Let’s face it; the world needs people like Madiba. It’s always hard to let these people go.

As I sat there and watched the TV coverage from South Africa, I was happy to see the people that gathered outside his home in Houghton singing in celebration. He would have loved that. I then recalled his 88^th birthday celebrations in 2006 and I got out my photos from that day. I had never posted any of these photos on social media with the exception of one blog post a few years ago. So, I posted a photo to my Facebook (FB) page to share it with friends and family. It was a photo of Madiba cutting his birthday cake surrounded by staff of his Foundation. And I am standing in the back row.

What happened next still boggles my mind.

My brother David had never seen this photo before so he proudly shared it on his FB page. Because he is PEI’s Fire Marshal, a lot of media personalities are contacts on his FB page. Literally within hours, I was contacted by CBC Radio (Charlottetown). I agreed to do a five minute interview the following morning. It went well. Radio interviews are always so much easier. I had done a couple of radio interviews with Matt Rainnie in the past and it always went smoothly. As soon as I was finished, though, they asked if I would consider taping another short segment for the CBC (Charlottetown) supper hour news. D’oh. My immediate typical introvert reaction was to (a) dig in my heels or (b) bolt. Bolting is even easier to do on the phone. But I thought of my Mom and Dad and that they would probably want me to do it. So I agreed. I asked my manager to take ½ vacation to make the trek down to the CBC studios on Front Street to do the taping. When she heard what I was going to be doing, she told me I could do it on work time and after the interview was over, I could work the rest of the day from home!! Like the radio interview, the CBC news segment was short. I enjoyed talking to Bruce Rainnie and I brought up his recent book (Thank you David for giving this to me last Christmas!!). Before I knew it, it was done – in one take. I wiped off my lipstick and got untangled from my microphones. What *was* cool, was that it was taped in the main newsroom. I had been in that room once before with a friend who used to work at the CBC, but never did I think I would ever be taking anything for the news here.

I went home that afternoon and was glad it was over. Or so I thought. I wasn’t home an hour when the PEI Guardian newspaper contacted me. I did that interview right away to get it behind me. And I was done. I am seriously shy by nature and the older I get, the more introverted I get. All I could think was, “How do people do this every day?”

Friends, family, colleagues and acquaintances all left kind responses on my Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter sites. Just when I thought it was over, my fellow Archivist and mentor Loryl MacDonald sent the link to my radio interview out over the Archan-l listserv. This resulted in my Director and Assistant Deputy Minister (the Archivist of Ontario) also finding out about this Mandela moment of mine. I can’t remember who initiated it – it may very well have been my Manager – but I was contacted for another interview by MGS (Ministry of Government Services – my ministry) Communications. So another article appeared there, as well as on the Intranet of the OPS (Ontario Public Service).

It was *my* Mandela moment, but in all these interviews, I was able to take my family and my community on a fun ride. After the interviews and articles, so many people called my parents, which sincerely touched me. That’s what it is like when you grow up in a small town. Many were proud that a local gal had been able to have this experience. Although I found the entire thing rather stressful, it felt great to do this for my family. My Mom, Dad, brothers, sister-in-law, aunts, uncles and cousins all seemed to get a real kick out of it.

And I’m just glad I didn’t fawk up.

Here is the photo that started it all. Rest in peace Tata. at hwat

Difficult but so true:

The 14th

Valentine’s Day, to quote my mother “It is so over-rated”. But she did receive two bouquets of roses this year! In many ways, it is another clink in the chain of capitalism. But for those for have difficulty showing emotion, I suppose it is helpful to have a day scheduled once a year, where expectations are clearly laid out: flowers and chocolates – always a safe bet fellas.

I received a lovely card from my Mom & Dad, as well as cousin Katherine in Montreal. I also received a lovely and amusing assortment of goods from my best guy. Here is some of the loot...some has already been eaten and missing are a pair of earrings and some bath products...I just can't be bothered to take another photo:

Acton Fall Fair

This Fall my co-worker Lindsey invited me to go to her hometown, Acton, for its annual fall fair. Put on annually by the Acton Agricultural Society since 1913, this year it was celebrating its 100^th anniversary. Nicknamed “The Best Little Fair in Ontario” how could I resist?

We headed out after work one Friday and Lindsey’s Mom met us at the Go Station in Acton. Friday night we took in some of the horse pull competition. As it was my first time to witness this, I found it quite interesting....if only I had dressed properly. It was unseasonally cold and I was wearing capri pants. I stuck it out as long as I could, but man it was cold. We headed back to Lindsey’s house, proceeded to break out some drinks, and we chatted with her Mom until midnight. Lots of girl talk and lots of laughter.

The next day, we headed back to the fair. It the light of day, I suddenly realized how much it reminded me of the Dundas Plowing Match. We sat and watched the cow show, which we both enjoyed. There were no Ayrshires to be seen, but a cow show is a cow show. I grew up going to them every year so it was still familiar territory to me. What was not was the horse show. I was surprised at the number of young girls properly outfitted in traditional riding gear that competed that day. Having ridden herself, Lindsey spent a lot of time explaining all the intricacies involved. My Dad would have loved it. A self proclaimed horse lover, he never did get a horse after expressing many times over the years that he wanted one. Mom had put her put down – the cows were enough! What is ironic is that Mom is also a horse lover at heart having grown up with them. Oh well, never say never.....except when Mom says never. Hehe.

My favourite part of these small fairs is always the craft display. At Old Home Week on the Island, I always looked forward to the Women’s Institute exhibit. Acton had a very respectable exhibit of its own. There were lovely paintings, various crafts, baking competition, as well as an antiques competition. I only saw one hooked rug, but what did catch my eye were some collages. I hadn’t done this sine my university days, and this one in particular caught my eye:  



We had some greasy food, drank a slushie, and I won (well, truth be told, I was given) a small Papa Smurf teddy bear. But I never did have a funnel cake. Next time.



Mamma Mia

This week is the first week I’ve had a bit of spare time in over a month. Before heading home for the holidays, I’ve decided to try and get caught up with some blogging. So much to write but so little free time it seems.

Mom came for her bi-annual trip in October. There was a lot of shopping, visiting with friends and family, and lots of fun outings. This time around, I was also successful in her not having to cook one meal while she was here!
Mom was here for Thanksgiving this year and we ended up having three Thanksgiving dinners [insert Neater’s apology to the rest of the family left in Greenwich]. The first was with Patty and Doug Baldwin. The second was with Bud and Claire Rossiter. The third was back to the Baldwin residence for leftovers and a repeat Thanksgiving meal. It was at the third Thanksgiving meal that Doug pulled both his hamstring muscles and scared the crap out of all of us, but I enjoyed it nevertheless. Never a dull moment when Mama comes to town! What can I say, when our energy connects bizarre things happen.

One of the first things on the agenda is always having a spa night with my BFF Dee. We had manis and pedis and a nice Greek meal on the Danforth. This time around, I convinced Mom to try some nail art. The owner of the spa gave me complimentary nail art on my birthday last year and I was dubious as well never having it done before. But I loved it – and so did Mom. Twinkle toes Mama:

By pure coincidence, my Montreal cousin Dan Rossiter came to Toronto with his family for the weekend to see Les Mis while Mom was here. We got together at a pub for supper after their matinee. It was great to have some time with them in addition to our yearly summer visits. Julie is now in her first year at McGill and Kelly is busy as a beaver with her studies and extracurricular activities. They have grown into such beautiful and accomplished young women. And Danny continues to look more and more like my father with every passing year.

There were some great exhibits on at the AGO while Mom was here. The first was “David Bowie is Here”. As I predicted, the coolest part of the exhibit were his stage costumes on display. Not only were they visually appealing, but it was also intriguing to read about Bowie’s memories attached to the various garments. The other exhibit we went to was “Ai Weiwei: According to What?” I really didn’t know much about Weiwei before going with the exception that he took part in designing the bird’s nest (National) stadium for the Beijing Olympics. I was really intrigued by this exhibit and his story. Known for his political activism as well as an artist, one cannot be removed from the other in looking at his work.

I’ve been to the AGO many times now. Just when I think I know my way around the building, I find another unexplored corner. This time around, it was Frank Gehry's stairs in the south wing. It provided us with beautiful views of the downtown core and my favorite – the OCAD building.

Finally it was time for us to go to Les Mis at the Princess of Wales Theatre. I’ve been looking forward to this for twenty years. Before going, we watched the 1980s version of Les Mis starring Liam Neeson so as to help Mom with the story line. In attending live theatre though, it is always the music that is the huge treat. And it did not disappoint. On the contrary, it was everything I had hoped for.  

Mom’s visit to Toronto would also not be complete without a dinner out with my dear friend Brian. He choose a restaurant that I wasn’t familiar with – all I knew is that it was smack downtown past Union Station. What we hadn’t planned or thought of was that the Leafs were playing in that city that night and the game was a stone’s throw away. The crowds and the rain were absolutely crazy. But the dinner and company was well worth it. We had a lot of laughs and Brian surprised us at the end of the evening with new scarves.

Is it 2014 yet - Spring of 2014 that is? I’m already anticipating Mom’s next trip...

UFO

Can't sleep. This song will lull me to sleep though - love it.

marking, marking, marking

This semester – okay, I am going to stop right there. I can’t use the word ‘semester’ as it makes me feel too much like I am back in school. And that is a road I no longer have any desire to travel down. This “fall”, I secured a contract to do some marking for a former Professor at the University of Toronto. It is for a course I took while doing my Master’s degree – actually my favourite course. I picked up the first round of papers this past Friday – 45 in total with 18 more to come in this batch. I have to have the 45 completed in two weeks time so needless to say you can guess how I spent my weekend: r-e-a-d-i-n-g! What I didn’t expect is how much I am truly enjoying reading these papers. The majority are very engaging and informative.

So as to alleviate as much stress as possible, I completed all my Christmas shopping prior to this work. I have all the gifts going to PEI packed in my suitcase and ready to go. I have also written out all my Christmas cards. All that is left is to mail the cards and four packages around the first of December. I strive to be as organized as I can possibly be, but curve balls inevitably arise. Such is life.

I did take time this weekend though to pick up these funky glasses at a thrift store. I loves loves loves them!!

Now back to the Walking Dead...

What a difference six days make

Last Friday I woke up with a throbbing pain in my upper back molar (right side). Having had a crown put on that tooth in 2010, I knew it was not nerve related. As I had done before, I figured I had caused it with my relentless teeth grinding while asleep. I had gone to the dentist and had a fitted mouth guard made. But I couldn’t get used to it and it interfered with my sleep. Nothing interferes with my sleep. So the mouth guard remained in its case in the medicine cabinet. Thus, the self inflicted tooth ache. But I thought “Hey, this pain is nothing that my 2010 Tylenol 3s (left over from my root canal) won’t cure!” I was of course, so very wrong.

 

 

I had Friday off work so I wasn’t missing work. And I generally live by the philosophy that if you ignore something long enough, it will go away. This can apply to most annoying situations in life. Friday turned into Saturday and the tooth pain revealed itself as a full blown sinus infection on the right side of face. The left side felt fine. The right side of my face felt as though it belonged to someone else.  

I had to cancel my plans for Saturday night. Before I knew it, it was Monday, and I was not getting better. Mom was calling everyday to check in with me, which I so appreciated. Every day she said “I think perhaps you should go to see your doctor?” I kept putting it off. Tuesday morning, however, I had had enough. I wasn’t eating, but what was worse, I wasn’t sleeping! So I made the trek up to York U. to see my Doctor. Within an hour of getting to the walk-in clinic, I had seen my Dr. and was waiting for my prescription to be filled. I had come prepared with a snack Ziploc that contained 4 small blocks of cheese. I bought a small container of chocolate milk and nibbled on the cheese. As soon as my meds were ready I paid the whopping $4.50 (thank you dear medical plan), ripped the package open and gobbled down my first antibiotic. The student cashier looked at me like I was growing an antler. I so did not care.

Going to the doctor yesterday, I had half a notion of going to work after. This quickly turned into a no-notion. I could not believe how wobbly I was. I guess six days of not eating or sleeping very much does that to a person. It also resulted in a loss of seven pounds (which is always fabulous!). I went home and as soon as the meds kicked in, I fell into a coma. I slept 11am to 3pm and then from 8pm to 5am...smokin’.

This morning I went back to work and was so glad to do so. I was still a little wobbly but it felt good to be back in my routine. But I still had a nagging pain in my face. I wondered if I could perhaps take Tylenol to take this edge off, but wasn’t sure if I could take it while taking an Antibiotic. A quick Google search said I could, but one shouldn’t believe everything they read - especially on the Internet. So I went to the fountain of medical information – my mama. I decided to contact Mom via my brother David and now know that it played out something like this:

• I emailed David and asked him to get Mom to call me at work.
• Yes, I am one of three people in Toronto who is not velcroed to some sort of mobile device.
• What I didn’t realize is that David was just about to make a presentation to two government Ministers on something...fire related of course.
• David called home: May I speak to Mom.
• Dad: Who is this?
• David: Who do you think is asking for Mom?
• Dad: Mom is at the clothesline - what do you want?
• David: (In an attempt to get off the phone quickly due to the impending presentation) Tell her to call Neat, I dunno, I think it has something to do about her plane ticket.
• Mom comes in, immediately calls me and asks what is wrong.
• Me: As I start talking an email notification appears on my computer screen from David telling me Mom is at the clothesline.
• Me: I was just wondering if I can take Tylenol with my Antibiotic?
• Mom says it is fine and admits she is standing there still with her jacket on – she had a scare thinking something was wrong with her upcoming plane ticket.
• Me: No, why would you think that?
• Mom: Because that is what Dad said – tsk, ohhhh, he must have got that screwed up
• Me: (Puzzled face) Okay....

David called this evening and explained everything. I laughed my head off. I felt bad at having called him just before an important presentation with such a silly request, but he reassured me that it made him laugh. D'oh! I promised (and keep promising) to get a cell phone sometime this century.

Those six days are a blur. I wasn’t able to focus enough to do some writing, so I watched a few movies, a lot of really bad TV, and spent a lot of time with my heating pad on my face. I was able to finish my latest rug hooking pieces so all was not in vain. All that remains is to sew the backs of the pieces on.

I am quickly getting back to 100% and am ready for my Mama’s visit. Let the good times unfold. I can’t wait to see what the next six days will bring.

Cocktail Hour Under the Tree of Forgetfulness

"To the left of the archway there is a two-roomed cottage comprising the guest room and Dad’s office. It is a thatched, brick structure inclined to be porous to wildlife. I open the door and wait. Nothing launches itself at my ankles, so I make my way to the bed and sit down, feet drawn up onto the bed. Big H brings me a clean towel, then stands around surveying the place. “Frogs,” she observes at last. As my eyes become accustomed to the gloom, I see what she means. The place is smothered in large, foam-nesting tree frogs, white as alabaster. They are hanging from the mosquito net, glued to the walls, attached to the door, hopping across the floor. Later, I find that if I drink half a box of South African wine and take a sleeping pill, a frog will come attached to my cheek while I sleep and will stay there unnoticed until morning. “How lucky for you,” Mum says. “You can write about that in one of your awful books."

- Alexandra Fuller
Cocktail Hour under the Tree of Forgetfulness

Florida

The first thing that always comes to my mind when someone mentions Florida is Flora Sutherland. Flora was a neighbour who taught in the one-room school house in Greenwich for many, many years. With the consolidation of schools in the 1960s, she retired, but occasionally did some substitute teaching in the newly established elementary school in St. Peters Bay. When she did get called in to substitute, she always came on the school bus that was driven by my Dad. When David was in grade one, he came home one day, busted through the door, and said to my Mother, “Guess what? I got to sit on the bus today with Florida!” Henceforth, Flora became “Florida” in our house and David became a favourite of Floras.

The second thing that comes to mind with respect to Florida is of course Disneyland. I can honestly say that as a kid, I never really thought – or dreamed – much about going. The opportunity arrived, however, when I lived in Japan. Some girlfriends decided that going to Tokyo Disneyland would be fun way to celebrate my 29^th birthday and subsequent departure from Japan, which occurred a month later. It *was* fun – a lot of fun. And it is something I wish everyone could experience once in their lifetime. In saying that though, it is something I don’t need to experience twice!

Between not seeing the need to go to Disneyland more than once and with me hating the heat, I therefore saw no need to ever go to Florida. A good friend, however, recently got posted (Foreign Service) to Miami. She expressed difficulty in making friends locally, was lonely, and asked me to go for a visit. So I found myself booking a ticket for a long weekend in Miami – South Beach to be more specific.

My Toronto BFF and her husband love South Beach. They have attended Art Deco weekends and perfected the local shopping route. The first piece of advice they had for me was to go to the Wolfsonian. Located in the heart of the Art Deco district, the Wolsonian, in its own words, the Wolsonian:

“...is a museum, library, and research center that uses objects to illustrate the persuasive power of art and design, to explore what it means to be modern, and to tell the story of social, historical, and technological changes that have transformed our world. It encourages people to see the world in new ways, and to learn from the past as they shape the present and influence the future.”

I love small museums such as this. I’ve been to the Louvre and Hermitage and big museums can be exhausting. We were able to have dinner at a Mexican restaurant, visit a local South Beach art gallery, tour the Wolfsonian (and have drinks in the museum lounge – 2 for 1 margaritas!) and go to a club – all in one evening. And we did it all without being the least bit rushed.  Here are some photos from the Wolfsonian, starting with my favourite object I saw – this table:

We then spent an entire day at the Sawgrass Mills outlet. Never had I shopped or spent so much in one outing in all my life. I had a blast. I purchased shoes, pants, tops, a jean jacket, Nine West purses, and a lot of nice cool summer dresses. I did visit the Coach outlet but didn’t see anything I loved. After everything was said and done, we were both exhausted. The next day we spread out all our purchases and accessed the damage. I was grateful I had brought an empty suitcase with me.

The hotels along "the strip" in South Beach are gorgeous. Beth said the hotels are actually pretty minimal inside, but the exterior is stunning. The majority have the art deco detailing South Beach is famous for mixed with relaxing beach tones. The beach itself is nothing to write home about. The sand is very coarse and uncomfortable to walk on without shoes, it is crowded, and stinking hot. I realized while I was there that I am a beach snob. Growing up on PEI, we grew up on beautiful sandy, clean and pristine beaches. In South Beach, the beaches are even closed at night, which was bewildering for me.

Beth is a bird lover and owner of two exotic birds. I was actually thrilled to go with her to her “bird club” monthly meeting. When else would I have a chance to get to do this? There were some beautiful birds there and I found the outing very interesting. We also stopped by a pelican rescue shelter that she volunteers at. I had never seen a pelican up close – they are such interesting creatures.

That is my Florida experience in a nutshell. On that note, I’ll leave you with some Will Smith.