A return to Johannesburg

The day I left Toronto it was -10 degrees. Needless to say I jumped at the chance to return to Johannesburg in the middle of a Canadian winter. Even though there were thundershowers in Johannesburg this afternoon, it has only made the countryside more green and lush. As I write, the window is open, a fresh breeze is blowing in, and the birds are abundant in the garden outside my window. If I was in Toronto, I would just be getting home from work at this time, my feet would be frozen and the window certainly would not be open – even if it was, I would be looking into an alley way – not a beautiful garden like I am this evening.

I have only been here in Jo’Burg for two days and already the funny occurrences have begun. The last time I flew to SA, I flew through London and had a day long stopover. This time around, I flew through Washington. Due to high winds at the Dulles airport, my flight leaving Toronto was delayed. With only an hour and a half initially scheduled between my arrival and connecting flight in Washington, I realized that with the delay there stood a huge chance of me missing my connecting flight. As the United flight pulled into the loading dock in Washington, I looked out the window and to my disbelief there was a South African Airways plane parked immediately to the right of our plane. I then realized I stood a pretty good chance of catching my connecting flight. Tearing through the airport, I got to the gate and saw that the doors were already closed and thought, “Okay, get ready to cry,” but I didn’t have to. The South African Airways staff was brilliant and in lightening speed, I was checked in, people were unlocking doors (they actually had to unlock three sets of doors to get me to the plane) and there I was the very last person to get on that plane. I am one of those geeks who usually arrive hours before any scheduled flight so let’s just say it was an interesting experience being on the other end of the spectrum.

The flight was only half full but when I found my seat, I discovered that someone was already sitting there. The young man expressed that he did not want to sit in the bulk head seats (the row at the very front of the plane). I thought, “Are you kidding me?” In all my trips to and from Japan the bulk head were the coveted seats as they provide the most leg room and freedom one can possibly get on a plane. I told him to stay put and that I would gladly trade seats with him. There was no one sitting in any of the four bulk head seats so I thought I was going to be able to stretch out, until an old American fart came along, squatted and dashed my hopes of a semi-normal sleep. But boy did I have leg room and with it being a 14.5 hour flight, it was bloody fantastic.

I watched George Clooney in Michael Clayton, which was so-so, but quickly, if not surprisingly fell fast sleep. I actually managed to get quite a bit of sleep, despite the usual baby crying in the seat behind me and the man snoring loudly in the seat behind him. What was strange was that every time I did wake up, I saw the same older woman going to the bathroom. I realize that most airlines suggest increasing the amount of water you drink on long flights, but I do the direct opposite. Public washrooms are sometimes gross but it has been my experience that airplane washrooms are always gross. This of course means I get off the plane completely dehydrated - but after a 14 hour flight, one never gets off a plane looking anything but like complete and utter crap.

I finally got to Jo’Burg but my luggage did not. All I had is my carry on, which means I had nothing – no toiletries, no change of clothes, but the jet lag was so bad, I really did’t care. There was a shuttle service waiting for me, but I took so long to get through the line at the “Missing Baggage” counter, the poor chauffeur was pacing and Shadrack and Heather (from the NMF) have already called him a few times. I wasn’t sure if I was going directly to the guest house or to the NMF so I asked the chauffeur where he was taking me, to which he replied, “This is the Oliver Tambo International Airport.” Thus the fun began.

I finally figure out that he is taking me to the guest house. He is a good driver and navigates his way through the insane Jo’Burg traffic with ease. The closer we got to Sandton/Abbotsford, his confidence fades, however, as I slowly realize he does not know where the guest house is and can’t find it. So here I am in Jo’Burg, with nothing to my name, wanting to burn the clothes I am in, and the man that is supposed to deliver me to my guest house is lost. Again, I realize that jet lag is a wonderful thing because did I get upset? Nope – I was simply too tired to care – and I also knew that the NMF staff would take care of me.

When Shadrack called and I told him I had no luggage, first there was silence and then I hear “shit.” Knowing I would need to go and buy clothes and all those feminine items that men are clueless about, he wisely turned to Heather who came to the rescue. Meeting me at the guest house, she whisked me away to a local mall where we tore into Woolworths and within approximately eight minutes, she had helped me purchase two blouses, two tank tops, some black socks, and a nightie – no, wait – two nighties off the sale rack (two for the price of one, both of which featured variations of Snoopy with a Santa Clause hat). Oh yes, the socks were listed as fitting woman’s 4-7 shoe. I had forgotten that women having a size 10 shoe is unheard of, and again, jet lag resulted in me not caring. I gratefully grabbed the “cotton rich” socks and ran.

After a good nights rest and two showers, I felt ready for combat this morning. I had to put the same lotion on my face that I did on my feet and I hoped for the best. I had no gel for my hair, or deodorant, which resulted in another trip to the mall today with my personal shopper Heather. I was only too happy to return to the familiar Rosebank Mall and like a lot of women my age, willing shelled out some mulla for some make up hoping this was transform my zombie like appearance.

It is great to be back at the NMF and see all the familiar faces. I got caught up with Verne and Shadrack and my funny man Yase. It was all very surreal as none of the physical surroundings had changed much at all. I was given my first task and after drowning 4 cups of coffee and 2 diet cokes, I managed to get through the day with a whole lot of shaking and no sleeping. Mission accomplished.

So I am back at the guest house. I just called the airport and my luggage arrived this afternoon on the flight from Washington. Shadrack called immediately after that and coming to my rescue again, he took me to the airport to pick up said baggage. What would I do without my friends here in SA?

I just tried the TV and it is now up and running – just in time for the SABC evening news. Tomorrow it is going to be 25 degrees. Life is good.