The phone call – part deux

Doug, Patty and I sat there starring at Mom talking to my brother David on the telephone. I was so impressed at my Mother’s strength. She didn’t break down – nor did her voice quiver. Doug and Patty sat on their couch starring intently at Mom. I looked from one to the other and was grateful nobody was looking at me because I was on the verge of hyper ventilating. My breath would not come and I suddenly felt so cold. I realize now, I was truly scared – not a feeling I have had very often in my life.

Hanging up the phone, Mom didn’t have a lot of details. All we knew was that Dad had a heart attack sometime earlier that afternoon. He was taken to Montague Hospital and then immediately transported to the QE Hospital (QEH) in Charlottetown. I recall Mom looking at me and I immediately saw what she was feeling. She needed to get home asap. I looked at her and said, I’ll get your ticket changed – and get a ticket for myself. I got on Doug’s computer and within twenty minutes, I had tickets for us both to fly home the next day. I will say that the Westjet agent I spoke to was incredibly kind, considerate and helpful when I briefly explained the situation. Doug and Patty were incredible too. I felt bad that they had to experience getting that news with Mom and myself – not that we had any control over it. They drove us back to my apartment that night and offered to take us to the airport the next day. I especially appreciated these acts because that Saturday afternoon Mom had began to come down with the same flu like symptoms that my younger brother Peter had a few days earlier. By the following day, Mom had a full blown viral flu.

That Saturday night we got back to the apartment, I quickly got myself organized, and began making phone calls. The first one was to the QEH as Mom wanted to speak with Dad. This helped immensely because he sounded good – like himself. He even told Mom not to bother coming home and to stay and enjoy her visit with me. We realized then that he did not comprehend the severity of what happened and was still in denial, which Mom said is typical of a lot of men. With our nerves a little more calmed, we then called David back to tell him our flight information. It then occurred to me to ask him how he tracked us down at Doug and Patty’s home. Apparently Mom had emailed David that morning and said we were going to the Textile Museum and to Doug and Patty’s the evening. David looked in Mom’s address book for the Baldwin’s number but only found their address. He then found their telephone number using Canada 411. Sure enough, I checked my messages after getting home that evening and there was one from both Peter and David. Hearing David’s voice message chilled me. His tone indicated there was something obviously very wrong.

I began making phone calls and writing emails. I first took care of work, emailing my manager and senior coordinators that I would be gone at least a week. I then contacted my close friends to briefly explain what happened. It then occurred to us that we would need to call Dad’s brother Frank in Montreal and contact Mom’s sisters. Once the information got distributed then the calls started coming in – first from Mom’s sister Margie and then from Frank and Aletha. This went on for a few hours. Mom talked and I got ready. I emptied my fridge out, put my garbage out, got my plants ready and then began to pack. The following day Doug and Patty took us to the airport. I gave Patty all the perishable items from my fridge as well as the tickets to War Horse I had purchased for Mom and me. Before we knew it, we were on the flight home.

It wasn’t until we were on the flight that I realized how sick Mom was. She had the chills so bad, I did my best to wrap myself over her so as to try and transfer to her some of my body heat. She said it helped, but I honestly felt like I was suffocating her – not to mention how foolish we must have looked in retrospect. David was there to pick us up at the airport and we went immediately to the hospital. It was touching to see Dad’s reaction to seeing Mom – with her face mask and all! He so obviously adores her, and really doesn’t do well without her. I saw the look of both relief and love on his face, which lit up when she walked in the door. My sister-in-law Karen then looked at me, chuckled and said “We are glad you are home as we know he will listen to you.”

The following day Mom and I returned to the hospital and we started asking questions about how everything had played out. The more we heard, the more horrified my Mom became. Apparently Dad had been driving the tractor when he began to experience a crushing in his chest. He then pulled the tractor up to the patio, got off, went in to the house and sat in his beloved lazy boy chair so as to ‘wait for it to pass.’ Initially he said this lasted for 30 minutes, which later changed to an hour, and then to maybe 1.5 hours. After that he proceeded to get back on the tractor and get an additional seven bales of silage from the field. He then returned to the house and upon seeing Peter he asked “With your flu did you experience a crushing in your chest?” Peter’s response: “Ah, NOOOOOOOO,” after which he immediately called David, who came right away and took Dad’s blood pressure, which of course was ‘up.’ David wanted to call an ambulance but Dad refused. Dad then proceeded to take a shower and ask David to drive him to Montague Hospital. Upon arriving at the hospital, the Doctor quickly determined Dad had a heart attack and he was shipped off to the QEH in Charlottetown. After telling us this Dad then stated “And they tell me I had a heart attack,” which he continued to say for the majority of that week. I recall the horror on Mom’s face when he finished. All I could think of was “This would have played out so differently if Mom had been home.”

The rest of that week is honestly a blur. Mom was so sick we made her stay home for a few days to rest and try and get better. Dad developed a temperature of unknown origin which delayed his scheduled angioplasty in St. John, New Brunswick. I drove to Charlottetown everyday and spent the day with Dad. Some people have described him as being “spoiled” in this respect, but he honestly needed someone to sit with him. The changes in medication and shock of having the heart attack left him confused at times. For the first three days at the QEH, he was not even allowed bathroom privileges (ie: he was not allowed out of bed) as he heart hadn’t stabilized and continued to go in and out of sinus rhythm. Besides, I wanted to be there. Dad has worked hard his entire life – not sitting at a desk either – he was worked physically hard to support us all and get us started in our own lives. It was now my job to be there for him and Mom.

We then ran into the Easter Holiday weekend, and Dad was still not booked for his trip to St. John. I had to decide to change my flight or not and to be honest, I struggled with it. I wanted to stay but was worried. I had a new manager and wasn’t sure how she’d react to the entire situation. After Dad said to me “It would be nice if you could stay and see this all the way through” I thought “To hell with it, I’m staying” (and my manager ended up being wonderful about everything upon my return back to work). So I stayed another week and am so glad I did.

Dad had a lot of visitors that week at the QEH. There were people from the Bay, his farmer friends, and of course family. Danny was out a few times and Erica came with Fineas and Marianne, and Terri came with her baby Hudson, which thrilled him. Jimmie MacAulay came to visit no less than three times and also appreciated was the fact that Olive Crane took time out of her busy schedule to come and see Dad the night before the opening of the house. At home, it was also heart warming to see the support of friends and neighbours. Because we were all sick, Mike Casey brought a vat of chicken soup to the house. Our dear neighbour and cousin Lillian also brought chicken soup, fish cakes and cookies – all freshly backed and cooked. Noel and Louise MacDonald came to help Peter every evening with the chores. It was wonderfully touching to witness all this support and of course, there were no surprises as to who didn’t show up.

On Easter Sunday, Dad was told he would be going to St. John the following morning. I was granted permission to go with him in the ambulance and David and Mom would follow in a car later that morning. We left Charlottetown in the ambulance at 6am and this was a first for me. The ambulance was surprisingly comfortable – but not so much for Dad in the back. I had an amazing view going over the Confederation Bridge (Dad unfortunately had no view) and the trip passed surprisingly fast. The Ambulance attendants were lovely and easy to talk to as both knew my brother David. Any ounce of familiarity in this unfamiliar territory was welcomed by me.

When we arrived in St. John, the nurses proceeded with Dad’s admission and allowed me to remain sitting with him while doing so. When they asked him where he was, I was shocked when he said “Georgetown.” It wasn’t until that moment did I realize the extent to how confused he really was. It was so difficult to sit there and not be able to help him. But I knew by the look on his face that he knew he was *off* and how it was frustrating him. And the longer we stayed in St. John, the worse it got. After four days, I recall my Mom saying to me “Is he losing his mind?” to which I replied “I don’t know but I think I am.” We had all been in the hospital for 12+ days and we were all getting a little shack happy. Once we got to St. John, Dad kept getting bumped due to emergencies. But our brief stay in St. John did come with some funny moments. There were several “codes” announced in the hospital indicating a violent patient had gotten loose. On one of our walks around the unit, I found a vial of blood in a Ziploc bag on the floor and thought/insisted it was a marker. Mom’s response: “Ah, no it is definitely not a marker.” Needless to say, I am still getting teased about this. There’s always a funny story or two that seems to follow my Mom and I when we get together.

The Thursday of that week in St. John, Dad finally had his angioplasty (dye test) procedure done and one stint implanted. The dye test determined that he had one blockage at 90% and two other blockages at 40%. He got along fine and the next day we were en route back home to PEI. Before having the procedure done, Dad had to take off his wedding ring and watch. I added his wedding ring to my chain, which I wear my grandmother’s wedding ring on. I was surprised at how good the two rings looked together. I told Dad this after getting home, he chucked, and then said “Give me my ring back please before you ‘accidently’ take it back to Toronto.

Dad was so glad to get home and Molly (our new Border Collie puppy) was glad to see everyone as she had a very lonely week. Upon getting home, Mom was quick to notice a rose blooming on her rose bush in the living room. To say this rose stood out (see photo below) would be an understatement. We all saw it as a message that our prayers to St. Theresa and the Blessed Mother had been answered. Dad was home safe and sound and we were all so very grateful.